I see helicopter shots of an urban jungle that could be New York or could be Vancouver but is definitely Vancouver. What Is Probably Happening In The Movie: This feels like opening-credits music to me. Who and What Is It: A cover of the Screamin' Jay Hawkins classic by the evil Sandy Duncan, who just crushed the Grammys. Track 1: 'I Put a Spell on You,' Annie Lennox So let's! Join me as I go through Fifty Shades of Grey: The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, song by sexy song, and let us speculate on what is happening to our tepidly tawdry hero and heroine. While I can't see the movie for another couple of days, I can stock my refrigerator with Yellow Tail pinot grigio and listen to the just-released soundtrack over and over. I have not read the book and I never will, but here's what I know: plucky everygal Anastasia Steele goes to work for mysterious billionaire hunkball Christian Grey, who is emotionally distant, but they bond over the fact that they both sound like characters in a Carol Burnett soap opera parody and they fall in love and then he puts a blindfold on her and your mom acts like S&M was invented five minutes ago. If your least-interesting friend has seemed extra distracted this week, there's a reason: this Friday, the film version of the bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey hits theaters, and America is about to get mild-bondage fever.
